'So, what's the secret?'
'Just pick up the phone, babe. That's all there is to it.'
--
Really, that's all there is. Sometimes, days and weeks, months, and sadly in some cases even years have rolled by before I've found the right moment to get back in touch. I am guilty of procrastinating this staying-in-touch business, because I want the conversation to be savoured and the time carved out for it to be free of any other engagement or distraction, to give the receiver all my attention and energy in the space between hello and goodbye; to fill the chat with a generous slice of my life that needs updating on; to be considerate of any other demands the other might have on his/her time, presumed by me obviously, at that moment. And then the moment itself passes, and the exuberance and eagerness to say a trivial nothing with it. Yet, I realized as I spoke with D last night, that in acting upon that impusle, the trivial is made memorable- the immediacy of that exchange collapsing all the time that has elapsed before it, only warmth and a sweet relish remaining. And with friends there can be no disturbing, right? Perhaps, they do welcome the interruption, even if only to say later, yet be gladdened for having been remembered?
And so, today I called three precious friends in the evening...to say nothing really, but everything still, and vow to do so more often.
2 comments:
I enjoyed this post, feel like I learned more about you from it, and can relate to both perspectives you present. I probably tend towards the former habit -- that of wanting to create ample space for a long catch-up with friends. I love these kinds of conversations where it can feel like my friend and I are solving the world's problems together in a deep and meaningful way. But I also agree that spontaneous conversations where we think we might have nothing to say can be just as delightful. It is nice to let those we care about know that we're thinking of them. People tend to appreciate this, more often than not. Everyone wants to be loved. I think there's also something to be said for having some people that we regularly check in with.
:) I'm glad you can relate. And yes, the rewards are plenty in such cases for letting spontaneity and love drive the action than a very conscious effort to be careful :).
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