They're doing that all the time, you know. Kids growing up, that is. They're doing that next door, in that day care center; as they discover new people in this world, different from their parents- little people like themselves. They try to be valiant in this strange atmosphere, failing hopelessly at times and bursting into tears, gurgling mirthfully at others, forgetful of the newness. Yes, kids are always growing up...(Heck I grew up! Although my grandmother does not believe such an event occurred and has me at 21 still and does not think that's very grown up anyway; another 5 years and I will be grateful for that courtesy). But for my baby bbb to have grown up! No!!! It cannot be. She says so though, every chance she gets, that she's a near adult. (I only hear the near, mind you). She will be in college soon, moving away from home, getting a bank account, moving into an apartment... taking charge of her affairs, as she calls it. Affairs, my foot!
And so, I insist upon her talking to me everyday, for hours, if I could have my way (how wonderful that would be!) as if that way I could arrest this onward march somewhow and hold it where it is. Right here. Right now. I will have to get as much of her, in this child-like state now. Tomorrow it will be no more. She will be a child to me, ever. But in her own mind she will cease to be.
If I could only protect that precious wonderment within her, if I could give her that magical mix of feeling liberated as a child and self-reliant as a young adult, if I could preserve the child in her and nourish the woman in her...:) I shall say a prayer for her.
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